


i'd give you my sunshine, give you my best

by PoeticPanda11



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Persona 5 Protagonist, Bisexual Sakamoto Ryuji, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Caring, Crying, Established Relationship, Forehead Touching, Gentle Kissing, Good Boy Sakamoto Ryuji, Inspired by Music, Kissing, Love, M/M, One Shot, Persona 5 Protagonist Needs a Hug, Sad Persona 5 Protagonist, Short One Shot, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25690507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticPanda11/pseuds/PoeticPanda11
Summary: A few days after the death of Haru's father on live TV and the Phantom Thieves now being hated by everyone, Ren's mind has been spiraling from the entire situation. But lucky for him, his sunshine can always calm the storm.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 6
Kudos: 64





	i'd give you my sunshine, give you my best

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a song lyric that inspired this fic. Hopefully I depicted the start of an anxiety attack properly. If not, let me know so I can rectify it.
> 
> Also, I used Ren this time as I want to get in the habit of using the canon name. (Still prefer Akira though).

Ryuji quietly pushes the door open to the Shujin rooftop. He sees Ren sitting cross legged, slightly hunched over and lightly shaking, and looking out the iron fence to the surrounding area of Aoyama-Itchome. According to Ann, he rushed out of the room as soon as classes were over and she saw him head up the stairs instead of down to the exit. A few minutes after, Ren texted him to come to the rooftop. Morgana notices the blonde and mutters something to the glasses boy for a second and he nods. The cat wriggles out of Ren’s lap and quickly trots up to the blonde.

“He’s starting to have a panic attack…” He said.

Ryuji frowns but nods and looks back to his boyfriend. This isn’t the first time he’s seen Ren like this. He starts making his way to him, making his footsteps heard so he knows someone is behind him. The wild card knows it’s Ryuji as he’s memorized the pattern of his footsteps due to the slight limp when he walks. That and Morgana told him that Ryuji is here.

The track star gently places his hand on the other boy’s shoulder, making the latter tense up a bit. “It’s okay Renren. ‘M here. It’s just me.”

He relaxes and lets out a shaky sigh as his hand travels up and puts his hand over his. “R-Ryuji…” He said shakily as the vulgar boy can feel the other boy’s hand tremble on top of his.

“I’m gonna sit behind ya, okay?” That earns him a slow nod.

He lets go of Ren’s shoulder for a moment and sits behind the boy, stretching his legs to the side and now wrapping his arms around the boy’s torso. Ren gripped Ryuji’s uniform sleeves immediately to ground himself while the other rests his chin on his shoulder.

“You’re safe with me, Renren. Nothin’s gonna happen when I’m here with ya.”

His voice is calm and soothing to the leader, lessening the grip on the blonde’s sleeves. Luckily, Ryuji came just in time before Ren’s panic attack got worse. “S-Sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you…”

Ryuji lightly laughs. “Nah, it’s no worries babe. I’ll always be glad to comfort you.” He turns and kisses the raven haired boy’s cheek. “You did make Ann a little worried though; with the way you rushed outta the classroom.”

Ren frowned. “I… I did?”

“Don’t worry about it. She’ll understand when you text her later. Right now, just relax. Breathe with me, okay?”

Even though Ren isn’t hyperventilating, he agrees to do it anyway. Doing things with Ryuji always makes him happy. Their breathing is in-sync with each other; deep breathes in, and warm breathes out. They do this ten times until Ren says that he thinks he’s okay now.

“You don’t gotta tell me what happened. We can stay here for a bit and just… talk about other things.” He plants another kiss on his cheek. “Whatever that negative voice in your head is tellin’ ya, don’t believe a word it says. I love ya no matter what happens.”

Ren lowers his head a bit. “Even… even if I killed a man?”

“You didn’t kill no one, Renren. You know that.” He tightens his hug. “I know that and so does everyone else. Includin’ Haru. Her dad’s shadow was fine when we ran outta the Palace. Somethin’ else must have happened back there, and _we_ aren’t the ones who caused his mental shutdown.”

The leader closed his eyes and sighed. “I…” He takes a second and swallows a lump in his throat. “I… it’s just that… because I’m the leader, I felt… responsible for what happened you know? That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Ryuji gently rubs Ren’s side. “I know…”

“And… everyone thinks we’re the bad guys now…” He can feel tears burning the back of his eyes. “Just this one slip up makes me think that… I can’t… I can’t take control of what’s happening. And I feel really bad for H-Haru… I just… feel responsible for it because I’m the leader and… and…”

Ryuji kisses his cheek again, letting the tears roll down his best friend’s face. He leans into the kiss and chokes out a sob. “I… I d-don’t know w-what to do, Ryuji…” He says quietly. “B-Because of this… e-everyone’s gonna leave. A-And you’ll l-leave too… s-so that only I’ll take the blame…”

His glasses start fogging up and Ryuji carefully removes it from his face, setting it down nearby. “Here… sit like this.” Ryuji ushers him to sit sideways, lifting his lithe legs over his right and letting Ren hide in the crook of his neck to cry.

“P-Please don’t leave me…”

Hearing Ren say that felt like a knife to the heart. Just hearing him broken like this feels like his heart being cut open. “You know I’d never leave you Ren…” His arms cradled the grey eyed boy, rubbing small circles on his back. “I could never leave you. I’m your right hand man. If you’re goin’ down then I’m goin’ down with ya. Heck, before you go down, they gotta go through me first. And no way am I gonna let them lay a hand on you, no matter who they are. Plus, you mean a lot to me for me to just up and leave. We’re in this shitty situation together and we’ll find a way to fix it, even if everyone else leaves, and they won’t.”

Ren’s cries and breathing slowed down. He swallowed before talking. “But… Haru…”

Ryuji knows things are gonna be a little awkward with her when she gets back. “I… We just gotta give her time to grieve… and we’ll talk to her. She’ll understand, I know it.”

His boyfriend sighs, somewhat content with the answer. They sit like that for a while in silence, just so Ren can regain his composure. Without something to lean back against, Ryuji is slightly hunched over but he doesn’t mind. He’d go through back problems just for Ren to feel better. Ryuji kissed his cheek every few seconds, tasting the lingering salty tears.

The curly haired boy eventually reciprocated and kissed Ryuji’s jawline. “…You’re too loyal for your own good.”

That made the blonde smile a bit. “What kind of best friend and boyfriend would I be if I wasn’t? It’s technically kind of your fault.” He pokes Ren’s side, making him jump a bit. Ryuji chuckles. “I love you, Renren.”

Ren finally but slowly moves away and cups Ryuji’s face with both hands, leaning in for a kiss. Their foreheads touch. “I love you too… thank you.”

He smiles. “Anytime, Ren. I’m always a text away to be by your side to face anythin’, okay?”

With a small smile and nod, the heavy weight in Ren’s heart and mind have been lifted. They share a tight and caring hug for each other. The boys didn’t seem to notice Ann quietly slip in and watch by the door with Morgana but it didn’t matter if they see their vulnerable moment. As the sun starts to set, they let go and all Ren can see is how bright Ryuji's smile is.

No matter what Ren's feeling, Ryuji will always be a drop of sunshine in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Pegoryu week is next week and I have no idea what to write.
> 
> In case you'll wanted to know the song lyric that inspired this, it's from Taylor Swift - peace  
> (Stream her newest album folklore)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Leave a kudos and comment if you did!


End file.
